OBS Chaotic Evil Session 2.0

Obsidian Bay looked like an easy place to earn some experience. No wonder Baggi sent me here, Rhokin thought.

He found his way easy inside Obsidian Bay. A guard offered his hand as an offering plate for donations, and Rhokin quickly responded with a warm handshake. As a merchant with goods to sell, the City Guard didn’t want to hassle this capitalist any more than they were required to according to the actual rules.

Once inside the OC, he headed straight toward the Amble Theatre. Before he could get inside, there was a gnome doing a puppet show. This was no normal puppet show. Most people would miss out on the intertextuality of gnome lore and the subtleties present in this play, produced freely for the citizens of Obsidian Bay. Rhokin’s heart broke that more people didn’t notice the classic symbolism present in this random performance of street art.

The performer held a hat out for coin and the people who had found so much meaning in his performance were quick to move on.

Rhokin asked for information about this town from this trustworthy puppet. Being able to see someone eye to eye was a rare privilege for anyone trapped in a world dominated by a much larger race. He was speaking to Moppo, a character from a story his mother had told him growing up. Moppo explained that he didn’t have any need but to entertain, but Kendrick – the gnome hiding behind a scarf an arms length away had lots of mortal needs. Moppo would be glad to help, but what could he get in exchange for his services?

Rhokin had spells trapped in bottles. He offered a hold person potion, guaranteed to lock someone in place long enough to defuse any dangerous situation.

“You should seek out the gobin in this wanted poster, I can tell you where he is. There are two sets of wanted posters all around town. Do not bother with the goblin girl, she is also worth 500GP, but you won’t be able to find her. The goblin firestarter is trouble. He can burn himself at will. Incapacitate him quickly! He is in the ruins near the docks area. Everyone avoids it for fear of awakening undead there. The wizards have not been able to find a solution. Best to get in and get out as quickly as possible. If he gives you trouble, come find us. Moppo can help you. Kendrick here has a play to perform. Don’t bother about the goblin girl, that burnie goblin is worth 500GP!”

With that exchange, Rhokin was off to find some food. The Welcome Wench in the adventurer’s quarter seemed to be the right place to find food and possibly a friend who might be interested in helping him track down this dangerous goblin. He would have to give up some of the bounty, but some bounty is better than no bounty.

He narrowly avoided a man chucking a pot of piss out his window, met the owner of the Welcome Wench outside smoking some elven herbs and was introduced to Forte. Forte was easy to make friends with and was super interested in going on an adventure. A bard could offer him a good mix of support. Off they went to the ruins.

Stealthily searching the ruins, Rhokin found a hole that was perfect for goblins to hide in. He tried to intimidate Forte into taking the lead. Forte noped out and hid around a corner. He was inspired to write a poem. So he did.

Rhokin looked around using his darkvision. He saw an ancient passageway, littered with fresh kindling, ready to burn. He chucked in a bomb. The explosion went off, and fire spread around a corner and down the hall. The fire burned and grew in size. Wind erupted from the portal that he stood in, and some new fire fiercely raged toward him. This was the place. He waited until the fire went down. Undeterred, he stepped into the smoldering ruins. As he turned the corner, a magical bonfire erupted behind him, blocking his exit. In the distance he could see a makeshift throne, and behind it, something was burning bright. This was his flaming goblin prey! He walked toward him, promising that he could help him. Once he entered the throne room, he heard “Attack!”. From the shadows, another goblin attacked with a scimitar and nimbly escaped. He missed. Rhokin took a potion that made him grow larger, and he approached the immolated Goblin who was worth 500GP. His attack missed, the Goblin behind him didn’t. The firey goblin fired a firebolt, missing.

In the end, there was a lot of missing. But the gnome lay dead on the ground. He found out the hard way how dangerous a goblin hole can be.

Smoke rose from the hidden entrance of Plirt’s kingdom. He had to find another place to hide, since this was sure to attract the wrong kind of attention.

OBS Chaotic Evil Session 1.1

Ari was amazed at this thing they called a comic book. He couldn’t believe the title when he read it. “How to level up your werewolf form in a super-meta way”. This comic book thing perfectly captured something he was totally worried about at the present moment. The leveling up stuff made no sense. It talked about hit points and things in a way that didn’t seem necessary at all. What he understood is that he had to fight. He had to fight with another werewolf. He had recently found out that he was sleeping in the same cell as a werewolf. Somehow this excited him because he realized that he didn’t have to feel shame about what he knew he was around this person.

Kind of.

He knew he knew more than he was admitting to himself for at least one murder more than he was letting on… to himself. At least in the backstory that he could remember. It is all easier to remember when he simplifies it.

All of a sudden, things became too meta and he found himself waking up into his cell, looking at Everard sleeping across the room. For as long as Ari was willing to remember, he feared the thought of leaving himself alone with another human being.

He knows his innocence is a lie woven in fey magic to protect him from the truth. He can fiercely fight as a creature from another part of reality as if it were an extension of him.

And he likes it.

He likes to know that he is alpha. Everything needs to know what alpha is, and He is it.

“Yes you are, Ari.” The Inquisitor says.

Ari looks up at the Inquisitor, and asks
“This is the part where I go to sleep, right?”

“Yes, Ari”


Mahaziya and Lostivius walked around the city. Mahaziya was looking for an interesting cult. Lostivius knew of a few cults and some rumors. The Cult of People who Give People Dirty Looks has terrible leadership and is especially vulnerable. It’s members are cult cultists, they hang out with cults that are new and jump from cult to cult with regularity.

The Cult of the Eternal Flame seemed interesting. They made their way there and met Murnau. He was interested in knowing more about Horus. He invited them to his next bonfire.

He also mentioned something about a wounded red dragon that they were interested in. She had recently laid eggs, and the cult was offering a reputation contract for anyone who could secure the eggs. Making new Dragon Knight hatchlings available for the cult would buy a lot of power.

OBS Chaotic Evil Session 1

The blade, the chain, and the book. Somehow, these mundane objects found incredible significance in Mahaziya’s life. She was closing a deal with an arcane antique shop. Myathethil, the shopkeeper, needed some silken textiles of a certain quality that Mahaziya was expert in providing.

A large dagger caught Mahaziya’s eye during their negotiation. Myathethil was quick to notice her interest and offered her a story about the fiend Mammon.

“A covetor of Mammon’s left these items with an incredible story of their value. I didn’t pay him what he was asking, because I know that Mammon has fallen out of favor ever since the reckoning. None of the archdevils trust him… But that doesn’t matter to someone like you, a master of the aesthetic. The blade is of rare quality, with a snake head carved into the haft of the weapon. There is a chain that connects the sheath to the wearer, and the sheath is shaped exactly like a small book. There are words in this book that I can’t decipher, I would have to find a covetee of Mammon, and I have yet to find one here in the underdark. Cult followers are fickle, even though they claim lifelong devotion with every other breath.”

“I would be happy to offer this to you as a sweetener to our arrangement. The sliken tapestries that you provide are second to none, and I think a woman like you would feel powerful with a blade like this at her side.”

Mahaziya couldn’t argue with her offer, and she had already gotten what she wanted in her negotiation. At this point in her life, she cared more about having a weapon at the ready than any story about a failed arch demon. Everything in Myathethil’s shop had an interesting story, but she didn’t care about them.

A man had recently left her life, in a most uncomfortable and awkward way. Elvish males are adolescents for 100 years, it would appear. He left making threats, while expecting her to need his protection. As her fingers wrapped around the snake head of her dagger, she felt safe and complete with this new found trinket from a collectibles shop.

She found a new fierce independence in her work after this point. She realized how a man had kept her from being completely focused on her work. Her outfits were never complete without the addition of her chain, book, and blade. She found a way to hide the weapon on her body, while wearing more and more revealing clothes. This was no small accomplishment with a tool that measured 13 inches from tip to haft. Hiding it gave her an advantage on anyone who might try something on a woman of her slim stature. Holding this instrument in moments of indecision balanced her mind and inspired her to remember that she was capable of deciding between life and death for anyone who crossed her. She gained muscle memory every time she designed her outfits, her hand could find the dagger in a heartbeat, and make an attack in another. If one hand could grapple, the other would have a blade against any man’s throat. Daily meditations, sitting silently became mental dojo’s, programming her body to be a weapon that held the dagger as the tip of someone else’s spear.

Somehow the thought of being someone else’s spear terrified her when she first happened upon it. It scared her and yet she did not want to reject the blade. Instead, she took the blade to bed. The thought of her taking one step away from her new found friend overwhelmed her with carnal desires. Instead of running from this new power, she wanted it closer. If this is hers, she also belongs to it. She had managed to keep her bed free for over three moons, and something had shifted inside of her. Now her relationship with the blade had become passionate. The snake head haft was more manly than any man she had ever experienced. The blade on the other end gave her more independence and power than any man had ever given her, and she wanted more. Somehow she knew that her momentary pause had hurt, damaged, wounded the snake that she had become so fond of having with her. A strange, arcane ritual had awoken in her mind, sexual in nature. She wanted to be bound by the chains, she wanted to know what was in the book, and she wanted that blade to be a part of her.

She took the chains and lashed her elbows together, the chain grew tighter. She placed the book within her mouth, and bindings wrapped around the back of her head. The haft of the dagger felt warm, soft and firm. She could feel the desire throbbing inside of it. For an hour she gave herself to fantasies and primal manifestations of sex that no man has ever given her.

She moaned Mammon, Mammon, Mammon. The blade orgasmed and her fantasies came to rest. It was clearly an orgasm. She could feel it. The chains released and the book fell out of her mouth, covered in her desire. She could see and smell juices that were not hers covering the snake’s head. Something was growing in her. A new power had awoken as well. After meditation, she realized that could cause force damage at range at will. And she was pregnant.


When Mahaziya awoke in the poorman’s guild, there were prayers made, meditation, and breakfast. All the conversation was about a new stranger in town, Horus. He made himself known to Master Gilbert as the god Ra in the flesh. He claimed to be the creator of the universe. Master Gilbert applauded his devotees for performing beautifully while accepting his incredible claims as factual. He spun the story into a warning against falling under the trappings of the ego. His story demonstrated how the spiritual practices that they follow are protection against the overwhelming power of the ego.

“He has chosen a path of suffering if he continues as he does. Beware that we do not fail this clearly enlightened being in this moment of decision that he has found himself in. He will continue to find rejection by those who are confused by his incredible claims. Hopefully we may serve him in some small way, just as we serve anyone who presents themselves to us. Even though he is arrogant, he is now a child of this city, just as needy as the orphans in the caring cudgel. Hopefully we can lead him to the path of service. It is the only way to avoid the trappings of the ego.”

Mahaziya heard something in this story that inspired her to seek out this man. A devotee of Gilbert’s was dispatched to lead this very pregnant woman to the glowing Aasimar in the Welcome Wench.


Horus didn’t find any new devotees while drinking in the Welcome Wench. He drank his fill of Goodberry Mead and was assisted to bed by Gundigoot.
The next morning, a beautiful moon elf presented herself during breakfast, recognized his brilliance and arranged to have him moved into a house that Gundigoot could provide.

Horus had finally found a real devotee. He was on the path of recognition that he deserved.

Mystery mysteries!

A new warlock appeared in the Welcome Wench tonight. Strangely, Gundigoot wasn’t prepared to meet him in front, casually smoking a spliff. He usually has an uncanny sense about new adventurers in his part of town. He recognized something familiar about this dragonborn. He has seen this warlock before.

Forte was quick to jump on the opportunity to greet a stranger. In this place, he felt familiar enough to greet even a red dragonborn as if they grew up together. Shinzo cosied up to the stranger, also knowing that the crew they ran with was strong enough to rebuff any unfriendly behavior. The casual attitude here is purchased with the potential of overwhelming force. Strangers are treated with ease, because these are the halcyon days of Obsidian Bay.

Sarmenti tricked Forte into saying that he didn’t like Thorgath’s cooking. Thorgath popped rage and hopped over the bar, dashing toward the sound of someone complaining about his food. With a half orc goliath breathing heavily in his face, Forte managed to get him to lose his rage by blathering for a couple of rounds. Everyone reassured Thorgath that his food was beloved in this place.

Sarmenti changed the mood by introducing a challenge. “Go to the house of the red sash, and I will reveal a mysterious mystery!” Everyone in the bar was interested. They didn’t need much of an excuse to go to the house of the red sash. It was next door, and is a popular brothel. Sarmenti led the group to the madame, and explained that they were here for the mysterious mystery tour. The madame offered Sarmenti his choice of the ladies, and he quickly disappeared in the back room for his own mysterious mystery.

The next few minutes left the adventurers alone with some lovely ladies. Most checked their charisma and tried out some lines on the ladies who all warmly accepted their advances.

Before they could take their conversations to the next level, a hag entered the room. She had brought the answer to their mysterious curiosities. “Come with me boys”, she said. “We’ll discover what is going on here.” She led them into the back rooms, uncovered the bedcovers and pulled up the sheets. She pondered over every stain and dropping on the sheets, sniffing them deeply and sharing her fascination with the boys. They also imbibed deeply the musky, human smell of sex in the linens. They all imagined what could have made such markings and left such a record of its crossing. What came here and left? “Something salty!” Thorgath said. Thorgath was inspired immediately to make a big steak dinner for Sarmenti with a mystery sauce as a memory of this adventure.

Even though the mystery was not solved, everyone learned something important this night. The best mysteries reveal deeper mysteries….

Sunday Funday found themselves under the shadow of Ravenloft

Malark performed a funeral ceremony, ensuring that Ireena’s father’s soul would rest in peace.

The party fought a Vampire Spawn of Strahd Von Zarovich. In life, he was the son of the village cleric. It was a tough battle, they learned a great deal about fighting vampires. Ireena wants to be buffy the vampire slayer.

Barovia is a horrible place.

Ranger Danger!

“Nobody talks anymore, they just…”

Florian had noticed that the bandits left a trail through the forest that he could follow. He brought this up to a few fellow adventurers in the Welcome Wench. Cain thought that the trail might lead to the goblins that had two 500GP bounties. Qhuless was quick to point out that the bounty required that they be captured alive. Cain hadn’t noticed the fine print, but he didn’t think it was a big deal. A team was organized and the party returned to the place where the trail began.

A Jackal ran across the trail, followed by some wolves. The wolves caught it and killed it on the other side of the trail.

Florian took to the woods. As he was hiding, he encountered two Dire Wolves.

Matauranga sent Rumple to scout ahead. Peering through the bat’s senses, Matauranga had blindsight via echolocation. He could sense the small group of goblins and hobgoblins arguing about where best to locate their ambush.

The party decided to break up and have Ashen distract the bandits while Cain approached from the rear.

Florian found himself flanked by a brown bear and two black bears, whom the brown bear regarded as her cubs.

The goblins wasted no time dropping arrows on Ashen before listening to anything she said. She was dodging, but one managed to hit, breaking her concentration on her shield of faith. She’s still confused about what that all means, she simply didn’t feel as lucky as she did.

Two Hobgoblin Iron Shadows dropped out of the shadows and flanked Cain, attacking him with 4 unarmed strikes at advantage each. Cain was almost incapacitated by their attacks.

Zelia provided her healing spirit and Unicorn totem, after a few rounds, Cain was healed up to half his health.

After a few rounds of fierce fighting, the enemy was reduced to a single goblin and a hobgoblin captain.

Qhuless took the goblin for a quick flight, asked him if he wanted to fly on his own and the goblin started telling him everything he wanted to know.

“We’re here, on the run from Lazarus’s forces”

Qhuless reminded the party that the enemy of our enemy is our friend.

The party decided that they wanted to talk to the leader of the group that had broken ranks with Lazarus’s army.


A hobgoblin had returned to the army dressed as a woman. She demanded that the others refer to her in the feminine. She had been captured in the goblin hole, hogtied and dumped in the basement of the welcome wench. There she was interrogated and released outside the city. In order to protect the hobgoblin from being attacked by the citizens, Sarmenti dressed her up in a woman’s outfit and wore his harlequin mask to distract any onlookers. Once outside the city, Stephanie made her way home. Experiencing life as a woman changed her, and she shared that experience with the goblins and hobgoblins that she returned to. She had to fight for acceptance, but once they found out that the mission in the goblin hole was a death sentence, they broke ranks and followed this woman hobgoblin.

Lazarus is buying the dead goblins and hobgoblins from the Orc Hunter’s guild and is fashioning them into his own army of undead. He has a black and white film processing lab that is replacing their organic materials with silver halide particles, creating constructs from the bodies that are no longer sensitive to light. No one knew where the adventuring goblins and hobgoblins were going to, so no one questioned his ultimate goal. Sending goblins off to fight using his teleporting powers seemed like a normal thing for an evil necromancer to do.

Stephanie changed everything for this group of goblinoids.

Now the OC gang knows a little bit more about Lazarus’s intentions.

The Poorman’s Guild needed help with their bandit problem

Master Gilbert needed a group of adventurers to help with some bandits who were harassing shipments to needy villagers. The adventurers agreed to hide under a tarp in a wagon to protect the villagers.

On the way there, a death dog stood in the road. A couple of adventurers tried to approach him, but they weren’t so good with animal handling at that moment. The rest of the trip was uneventful.

The return trip was different. Hobgoblins and Goblins attacked! A Hobgoblin Iron Shadow attacked Florian the Ranger and reduced him to one hit point.

Zelia the Druid created a Unicorn totem that increased her healing powers and also healed Florian. The Barbarian popped rage and began fighting with the Hobgoblin Iron Shadow. The adventurers flanked him and quickly took him out of combat.

Chris the Moon Druid conjured up two Crag Cats and wild shaped into a Crag Cat himself. All of the goblins and hobgoblins that had shown themselves retreated back into the shadows. The forest was silent. The adventurers started chasing the enemy into the woods. As soon as they started to get separated, they realized the problem and regrouped behind some stones on the side of the road. Ericthoneus, Lani, and Shinzo decided to ride the Crag Cats to seek out the goblins hiding in the shadows to the east.

Before they left, Erichthoneus told Lani that he had something to show her. He had fashioned a small platinum ring that he gave to her. Lani blushed every shade of color that she had. He explained that he shared a similar ring that allowed him to give her a +1 to her armor and resistance to every kind of damage.

He didn’t mention that he took the damage that she was resistant to, because he didn’t want her to worry about him.

The cats were amazing at smelling the goblins in the woods. When they found a goblin or hobgoblin, they killed them. Thorgath kept seeing another Iron Shadow just as it jumped into a shadow and reappeared somewhere else. Zelia the halfling / kobold druid rode on Thorgath’s shoulder, 9 feet high.

When they were the furthest away from the basecamp of the poorman’s guild members and Ivetta and Ellaine, a goblin ran across the road and jumped on Ellaine, attacking her with a scimitar. Three Hobgoblins attacked with their longbows, dropping martial advantage with every attack.

Zelia had a trick up her sleeve. She had a charm of animal conjuring that was a gift from the Chwinga in Druid’s Grove. She conjured up four Giant Wasps. The wasps flanked two Hobgoblins and one shotted them.

Shinzo was riding up to attack the three hobgoblins on the back of his crag cat. The cat dashed almost 80 feet, and Shinzo lept into battle, releasing a ki point and attacking three times. He didn’t get a kill, and right then the Iron Shadow that had been seen in the woods attacked him, dropping him to half his health in one round. Shinzo spent another ki point in his attack, attempting to stun the Iron Shadow. He missed with his attack. Everyone else showed up at the end of this turn, and the enemy used expeditious retreat to double his movement speed and dash away quickly.

He wasn’t quick enough for the giant wasps. By the time he got to the end of the road, they had caught him and poisoned him to death.

Everyone returned to the Welcome Wench as heroes.

OBS Chaotic Evil Session 0.2

Marquis Claude Felix Laurent Belrose-Carver was captivated by some lovers on the grassy knoll at the base of Griffon Tower when a small gnome ran up to him and fell down awkwardly after brushing against him softly. Most men would be charmed by an act like this, but the Marquis is no fool. He hates both sexes equally. He was sure that she had tried to pickpocket him, and failed. She looked beautiful laying helpless, sprawled out in front of him. His jealousy of this lovely creature was now his protection.

Immediately he realized that his lifelong disgust of any form of compassion had uncovered a sinister plot from this little woman who was vulnerably laying in front of him.

He reached out and grabbed her as she ducked out from under her cloak, revealing the whole of her curvy green form. As she dexterously dashed away from him, he was amazed – she was a Goblin, not a Gnome! He readied a spell slot and fired sleep at the space that he saw her last. Six people in a crowd all fell over, asleep where they had stood. He is not able to restrain his warlock power, so the spell went off full blast. When he arrived at the scene, his goblin prey was not among the fallen townsfolk. The city guard were breathlessly standing beside him, curious about the pandemonium that had just erupted in the heart of Obsidian Bay, the Griffon District.

“Claude, what happened”

“How dare you address me so casually!”

“I’m sorry, Marquis – what happened?”

“A goblin tried to pickpocket me, and then caused these people to fall asleep.”

“But there are no…. I mean if there are… Should we look for a goblin in Obsidian Bay?”

“How dare you question my word!?” “You see that we have posters searching for a goblin who burned down the Orc Hunter’s Guild! Of course there are Goblins here, one just tried to pickpocket me!” “And then caused these people to fall asleep!”

“Please accept my deepest apologies, what can I do?”

“We should search for her now!”

The Marquis spent the next few minutes pretending not to stare at the lovers on the grassy knoll, and then expressed his frustration that the guards were not able to find the goblin that he was now consumed with finding.
“There must be more that can be done! I am royalty!”

“Sir, we can bring you to the wizard”

The wizard took the cloak that the goblin left behind and cast portrait, a spell from the book of lost spells. After ten long minutes, a form was drawn of the last image that the Marquis had seen. A goblin girl, curvy and sexual was shown. What was revealed was his own projection of the person, the wizard explained as the audience was taken aback by the overtly sexual nature of the drawing.

The wizard was doubling down on his statement as the Marquis grabbed the portrait and demanded that a reward be placed on this goblin girl! He wanted her alive. He wanted her brought to him for questioning. She might have something of his, or she might have been sent to steal from him directly, and he had a right to know. They offered 100 GP, 200 GP, but he demanded more! There was another goblin that was offered 500GP, this one was just as big a threat, he demanded.

Begrudgingly, they relented to his demands.


Synch stood in front of a wanted poster and decided that he should try out his connections one more time. 500GP could earn him some respect. He tried everyone he knew before he headed down to the docks to see Knuckles. He still owed Knuckles 10GP, and he didn’t want to hear about it again. When he got there, Brak the Dwarf was making some excuse about money he owed Knuckles. Knuckles laughed at Synch and said, “Why don’t I have you two fight it out right here for my amusement, the loser has to pay both debts. That would entertain me, and I wouldn’t have to send someone to break your legs. You could do it to yourselves.”

Synch immediately started intimidating Brak, Brak didn’t know what to say, he was caught off guard. After several rounds of fierce fighting, both were bloodied and the goons stopped Synch before he landed a deathblow on Brak. Synch was out of debt, and had earned a modicum of respect from the Half Orc Knuckles and his thugs.

Synch had a good day.

OBS Chaotic Evil Session 0.1


As a city guard, Ari was used to waking up in jail. No one really cared if they took a nap on duty. This time he was on the other side of the bars. He knew the drill, it was morning, and the feet approaching him sounded like Donall and Tiernay bringing the morning meal. As he turned to greet his fellow guards, his eyes opened wide when he saw that they were not alone, and were not bringing breakfast. He wasn’t hungry, but it was an unexpected break in a ritual.
“Get up against the wall, prisoner”
Ari protested, “c’mon guys, what happened?”
A dark voice commanded, “silence him!”
Ari was put in manacles and brought in front of the inquisitor.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, I had some drinks last night and woke up in here”

The inquisitor stared him down and spoke some words, invoking arcane power that rushed over Ari, leaving him feeling weak and defenseless. He felt like he had just told him everything he knew.

Ari was taken across town, into a tower with a deep dungeon. He was transferred from city guard to private guards who ran a tower that Ari had never seen before. A bag was put over his head and he was led down a dark hallway, surrounded by beasts that terrified his sturdy constitution. He was placed inside a cell with a madman. The madman ranted for hours about the unfairness of the city, how he had only a small debt to pay, and there was no cause for him to be placed in this cell.

The light above glowed in a way that reminded Ari of the moon, which reminded him of his home. He recalled his father and mother, and how proud they were when he was accepted by the City Guard.

Somehow this memory shifted to a new master, something deep and primal inside of himself. The madman’s cries stopped sounding annoying and began to excite him deep within the core of his being. The tone of his voice sounded weak, like the sound a prey makes when it is cornered, without any where to run. He could smell the scent of fear in a register that he had never felt before.

Ari turned to say “hey man, take it easy, you are going to stress yourself out”

Instead he slashed with claws he had never seen before and bit through his flesh, tasting the sweetness of blood that felt like home…


Stepping through the gates of Obsidian Bay for the first time is a 3′ rock gnome dressed up like a clown, leading a mule pulling a food cart. Happy music fills the air as his toys unwind.

The city was happy to extend a license to a new food cart vendor, as long as the vendor agreed to pay their fees. The economic engine of the city runs on greasy palms. Roland MacDaniels left a coin as a paperweight that the bureaucrat quickly slid into his desk drawer. They negotiated a place for the new merchant to do business and just like that, the deal was done.

“We’ll be out to check on you, if you see any unlicensed vendors, let us know and we can take care of them for you”

Roland was out of meat, and he needed some secret sauce. Musically leading his cart through the strange quarter, he knew he could solve both problems this evening. He followed a panhandler who was looking for a quiet place to sip on his brandy. Around the corner, he offered him some coin. “This city isn’t fair”, the old man said, “I’ll be sure to buy food with this, thank you kind stranger”
Roland invited him to his cart so he could give him a small gift, something sure to put a smile on his face. Trusting this small clown, the old man stepped in close, and the clown grappled toward his throat. He missed, and the old man turned to run away. With one swing of his handaxe, Roland took him down to his size and then ripped out his vocal cords.
Once he had him wrapped up tight in his cart, Roland cast spare the dying on him to keep his meat fresh. Roland knows the basics of preserving meat, but a simple cantrip keeps him from having to use chemicals that change the taste of his burgers. He fills up with pride for his wise, cunning ideas.

A change of clothes and a quiet coin exchange gets him beyond the guards to the city harbor. The ocean and some herbs provides everything he needs for his secret sauce.

Tomorrow, the city will be a happier place to be with the addition of this new food vendor. They’ll be loving it!

OBS Chaotic Evil Session 0

Chastity found herself in the Griffin District, playing her usual con. Unfortunately for her, the man she made didn’t need another woman as his beard. Her attempt to pick his pocket sent her sprawling across a busy intersection. She dashed away, ducking for cover multiple times until she found herself hiding in a trash can. The guards watching over the only exit to the city proper will be watching for a goblin girl, posing as a gnome. The future is looking bleak for this green, yellow eyed beauty.

In the Amble Theatre, Kendrick prepares himself for his performance as a goblin in tonight’s “Death of a Merchant”. Instead of applying makeup to make himself look more like a goblin, he applies makeup that looks flawed. He places a rubber nose exactly like his nose on his nose. He is nervously hoping that the audience or the other actors accept that he is a gnome, playing a goblin. The truth of his goblin self must remain a secret hidden within his performance within a performance on the stage of his life. At that moment, he wonders where Chastity is; she never misses the show.

Plirt is busy with his royal court. His kingdom requires attention at every waking moment. It is important that he maintain order and discipline, or dogs will become cats, cats will become dogs and nothing will mean anything anymore. He fantasizes deeply about the future of his kingdom while the single member of his court rubs his feet.
“We are worth 500GP, Beetlebum. This is only the beginning. Our kingdom will multiply. All I need is my queen.”

“Yes, master… but we are hiding out in ancient ruins, and you have a 500GP bounty on your head.”

“Don’t forget that any of them will be happy to turn you in for that bounty! Those light lovers can’t tell the difference between any of us. All they want is someone to blame for the fire that destroyed the Orc Hunter’s Guild. Someday, Beetlebum, you will understand my grand plan. Do you understand the power of fame?”

“No, master”

“Less talking, more rubbing, Beetlebum”

Somewhere on the docks, a human rogue considers his future. He has made some coin killing someone for a tough gang, and he thinks that finding a goblin hiding in Obsidian Bay might be the next big thing for his future. 500GP could buy him some respect….