Darkness and Cold were the first sensations I remember. A darkness that I could touch and feel. So complete, so comforting. I was breathing it, bring it into my lungs and it was sustaining me.
Cold, not of body but of mind. There was a cold point deep in my mind. A spot of absolute zero buried within my consciousness.
As I contemplated these strange and wonderful perceptions I became aware of a pinprick of light far off in the distance, slightly swaying to and fro. I watched, mesmerised by this point within the consuming black. How long I watched, Ha what was time, worlds could have formed and been destroyed by there dieing suns or a butterfly emerged from a cocoon, lived loved and died.
In the aeons, I studied the light it grew, imperceptibly at first, but accelerated and with it came sound. The soft gentle whisper of a breeze, just at the edge of my hearing, at first.
I realized that the light was not closing in the distance as it was expanding, and now expanding rapidly. It filled my entire frontal vision and with it the sound. That sound ooh it was the sound that brought the fear. So intense it became feeling, it was touching me affecting my mind. I can only describe it as if my body was being squeezed through the cogs of a massive machine, as I was crushed through one set of cogs I was passed on to another slightly small set. And this went on and on and on, the light brighter and now all-encompassing. The machine smaller and smaller until my very atoms where being mashed by these infinitesimally small immensely strong cogs. My mind, my self-gone, squeezed out of existence. Mashed and crushed, Snapped. All that was left of me was the spot of absolute zero that had been deep in my psyche. POP. That was it. This violent crescendo of light sound pain. The complete dissolving of me finished with a POP like a child’s toy.
Ahhh the pleasure, not of something given, but the absence of shattering light and crushing sound. The bliss of void… I….hmmm no there was no I know, no self that I can express, just the frozen singularity of animus.
Bell chimes, “It is mostly complete, I think we lost fragments”, a child’s voice touched with mild concern.
A note from a flute, a deep resonant voice, “No matter, it will still be a vessel”
Bell chimes, “let the old one make it whole before it is lost”, the child’s voice speaks with urgency and worry
The purr of a cat, the cracked voice of a crone, “Animal, animal, mind, mind. Touch you feel you, make you whole…Asmodeus, Asmodeus, mend the vessel, bend the vessel. Crush the pearl, tear the void, ASMODEUS
The singularity explodes. It rapidly expands, and then contracts. Pressure, diamond crushing pressure…and pain. I feel the return of sense makes me wail with laughter, I feel, I am…I scream, the pain, burning, flaying, screeching, blinding. I am.
I wretch and vomit, it splashes across my face and runs down my neck. it leaves a metalic taste. shaking and sick, I weakly roll onto my side.
Bell chimes, the child, “Slowly, take it slowly all will be well.”
Flute sounds, the giant, “Oh get up YOU have work to do. Raise, go south.”
The purr of a cat, the crone, “You are the vessel, the broken vessel. By worm in mind and Spittal of snake, purpose you are, broken and whole.”
I stand, on watery legs. The moonbeams down on a flower-filled clearing, surrounded by forest. I walk south.
Purpose, my purpose. The world is flawed, reality cracked. There is no distinction between reality, dreams and spiritual. And they are all flawed. There is a worm in the minds of the living and dead, and it needs to be exposed, purged and scorched. Eyes wired shut must be pried open.
Bell Chimes, the child. “But it knows, the worm knows. It knows you are coming,”
Purpose. I am Sannie, power gifted from the three, three gifted by the void, hunter of the worm, saviour of the fabric. I will bring the sentient kicking and screaming to the one truth. Nothing exists.