Plirt was a goblin, an exceptional goblin at that. Well, that is what all the other Goblins of the Blunderboot tribe told him. For he had a gift, a wonderous skill, that the Goblin Shaman said was Bawang, Bawang or in his blood.
When Plirt was born the other goblins were burning with anticipation…..literally. As the Goblin midwife reached into rip Plirt from his mother, as goblin midwives do as the belief is that the more violent and socking the birth the more violet the goblin, she screamed and burst into to flames, jumped up and ran around the room, setting small blazes as she went bumping of the cavern walls and running over piles of refuse the goblins called beds.
By the age of 10, Plirt was famous and feared. He had caused the death, accidental or not, of more Goblins than raging young adventures. He once became so enamored by the flickering dancing flames of a campfire, while on a raiding party, that he lost all sense of place and time. When he came to there where screaming flaming goblins running all about. Thinking they were under attack Plirt fired off everything he had into the surrounding forest setting the perimeter of the camp ablaze not realizing that he had just sealed the fate of the entire raiding party a 20 strong band of goblin buddies burned to death.
After, the Raiding party incident, the Blunderboot Goblin Queen, who was actually a male cross-dressing hobgoblin with serious sadistic and Identity issues, demanded his presence. The Queer Queen, as she liked to be called, commanded Plirt to show his powers. Plirt shaking with fear and full of stage fright, just couldn’t perform, and the screeching of a 6ft 6 Hobgoblin in a bright pink dress 4 sizes too small, make-up smeared across its face, was just too much. When The Queer Queen grabbed him, lifted him off his feet and shook. Plirt burst, well not burst so much as exploded. Flames erupted from his body, searing all around him, and completely engulfing The Queer Queen. Leaving only a charred body with faint traces of lipstick.
Well, Plirt was hailed a hero, for deposing the sadistic Queer Queen, and proclaimed the new King of the Blunderboot Tribe. His first action was to call forth the Tribal shaman to foresee his future as King. Now, this was a fairly standard practice and generally, the Shaman did make a genuine attempt to foretell the future of the new leader. However, the current Shaman had great ambitions of his own and coveted the leadership. Plus, he was scared shitless of Plirt and didn’t want to end up like every other goblin that had spent time with Plirt, a smoldering pile of ash. So, the Shaman hatched a cunning plan. He told Plirt that great power and riches for himself and the tribe lay in Plirt’s future, and Plirt would be the most powerful Goblin King of the ages and be known as the Burny Burny King. But to achieve this power Plirt must learn how to breed more burny burny goblins. Now, the Shaman new that Plirt had tried this, well Plirt hadn’t really tried it, he had been commanded by the Queer Queen to mate with every goblin in the tribe…. every goblin, including the Shaman, and there were a few babies but no Burny Burny ones. So, to achieve his cunning plan the Shaman added one small piece, it was that to become this Great Burny Burny King, Plirt must go on a great journey far across land, and breed with all manner of goblins until he found his Queen, the one other female goblin that would reproduce Burny Burny goblins with Plirt.
And so Plirt took the Shamans words to heart, and set off on his travels, after a every awkward farewell, as most Goblin’s were completely terrified of bursting into flames if Plirt even looked at them. He left the Shaman in charge and ventured forth to find his Queen…oh and make little burny burny babies
There was a little goblin from Blunderboot
Who could light fires with just a toot
He went for a wander
Met a bunch of goblins all a wonder
But had a critical blunder
And now Obsidian Bay is asunder