We’ve upgraded the Goblin Hole in order to take on new adventuring parties of up to 6 players. The Goblin Hole has always been a tough adventure for a well balanced party of 4.
There has been a new problem introduced. There are goblins on the run, hiding out in the Goblin Hole, somehow convincing the crew of Goblinoids to follow their leadership. Every since Ivetta saved Beetlebum’s life, and Beetlebum told Plirt about the Goblin Hole, there has been a new wave of problems for the adventurers.
Mahaziya stole her way to the fissure in the middle of Obsidian Bay. Lostivius had told her that there was access to the underdark beneath the lake that appeared in the middle of town. This oddly shaped pool of water always has a guard present, and is clearly marked “no swimming”. Using her innate ability to detect magic, Mahaziya scanned the water feature, searching for a clue to the underdark that was rumored to be nearby.
As she was busy trying to unwrap the riddle, a city guard approached her, offering aid to a pregnant elf.
“It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it? – Is there anything I can help you with?”
“I’m just taking in some fresh air, thank you.”
“You can’t be too careful nowadays, We have two reports of goblins in town. 500 Gold Pieces each!”
“You don’t say.”
Mahazia paused and considered the opportunity that had presented itself. She desperately needed to get rid of this helpful guard.
“Do you mean the goblin they found just around the corner?”
“Of course, three blocks over, I heard some people talking about seeing a goblin, and they were trying to trap it.”
“Ma’am, I didn’t know about that, but I should head over and investigate right now!”
And with that, Mahaziya was free to continue her search for the rumored access to the underdark.
In a dark corner of the water feature, she could see how the fissure had opened up and had extended beyond the limits of the illusion of the pool of water. When she was close enough, she could detect magic emanating from a crack just large enough for a pregnant elf to pass back through to the underdark. As casually as she could, she lowered her fully stretched out form behind a bush and started to climb down a cliff wall that passed beyond the illusion of a lake.
The darkness reminded her of home. This terrifying place could have danger at any moment. She centered herself on her will and found the strength to take the risk that she had to take. As dangerous as this was, it was safer than revealing her truth to anyone else. She was not a moon elf, she was Drow; her child was the product of her union with the devil Mammon. Either of these truths could mean death to her and her child.
After an hour, she found her way to a cave that seemed to offer safety. She explored the space and decided that she could go on no further. Her water had already broken, the child was ready to be released.
At this moment, two figures appeared from the shadows. Terror would have overcome her if she were not already given to the process that was happening within her.
“Who are you?” The first shadowy figure asked.
“I am Mahaziya, I am giving birth right now.”
“Who are you?”
“We are Shadar Kai.”
The Shadar Kai stepped out of her sight, on either sides of the cave that she was in.
Mahaziya laid down on a rock, wrapped the chain around her legs; the chains restrained her, which gave her comfort. She placed the book inside her mouth, which stifled her moans and allowed her to breathe. She took the blade and cut her skin, dropping blood into her mouth.
Whatever it was inside her started moving, working its way through her, erupting her body in pain. Instead of screaming, she chanted the name “Mammon, Mammon, Mammon”. The pain became a sacrifice and a gift that gave her strength to endure more and more pain. The pain gave way to a euphoria when the child was revealed. Stretching out its wings, it launched itself at the mother and she instinctively offered a piece of her body, a nipple that had appeared beneath her armpit. The imp drew directly from her life essence and she gave herself to it willingly.
“Your name is Uttu; you are my revenge.”
The goblin hole training paid off. The heroes used every dirty trick that they learned fighting goblins in the goblin hole at the top level of Firefinger. In the end, they won. But it wasn’t easy.
We have been fighting Goblins and Hobgoblins for five months in Obsidian Bay. We tracked some bandits down who were raiding Poorman’s Guild shipments. We discovered that the goblins and hobgoblins were refugees from a powerful necromancer. They realized that the necromancer had been transforming dead goblin and hobgoblins into some new construct army. Cain and Qhulesss made a pact with the leader of this revolutionary unit, and promised to bring them to a place where Lazarus the Necromancer could not find them.
When we returned to check on our companions, we discovered that the Orc Hunter’s Guild was blocking the road. Just like the military contractors they were, they gave in to our request to pass when we appealed to their sense of pride and love of cold hard gold pieces.
When we got to the stronghold, there were terrifying monsters from another dimension attacking the goblinoid army. They were easily killing the Goblins, Hobgoblins and Wargs. We found ways to overcome the defenses of the newly minted constructs, but they were not easy to destroy.
In the end, the OC crew were victorious, but it took all of our spell slots and healing to keep the small unit alive.
Sarmenti couldn’t stand it. He knew that the half orc goliath barbarian gourmand chef was messing with his food. Ever since the mystery mysteries adventure, Sarmenti was waiting for the gang to get him back for his amazing practical joke, but it hadn’t happened yet. Every day, he opened his door slowly and peeked outside.
Every person who threw their pot to piss in out their window seemed to be pointing it at him.
He couldn’t stop worrying about where the next ironic attack might come from. He was crumbling under the pressure to be more ironic.
Thorgath brought him his new steak meal, again. The Grande Steak Extravaganza With Meatballs and Mystery Meat Sauce showed up on the menu the day after Sarmenti brought the boys over to the House of the Red Sash and tricked them into cleaning the sheets. Somehow this mystery meat sauce was a grand joke meant to fool him into eating what must be something absolutely terrible. He knew how practical jokes worked, since he was so good at them. He was convinced that the mystery was something to be feared.
Sarmenti took his fears to Cain, looking for a confidant. As soon as Cain heard what he said, he jumped up and dashed to the kitchen, demanding that Thorgath tell him what was in this “mystery meat sauce”. Thorgath had no idea what Cain was going on about, he was completely innocent of any of Sarmenti’s advanced, diabolical thinking. As Cain turned around, he murmured under his breath “Sarmenti”. Hearing this name, Thorgath realized that Sarmenti was complaining about his food, he popped rage, searched for Sarmenti and ended up in the basement, attacking the tree trunks that supported the structure, causing the entire building to shake violently.
Sarmenti was already outside by the time Thorgath was looking for him.
Gundigoot was lighting his spliff when he saw Sarmenti lurking outside.
“What’s going on, Sarmenti?”
“I think I complained about Thorgath’s cooking because I got caught up in my own practical joke.”
“I saw what you did, and I’ve been waiting for this to come to a head.”
“Help me, Gundigoot, I can’t go back in there like this… I could use minor illusion and”
“Magic is never going to work on someone as simple as Thorgath. He is going to have to see whatever it is that we do for himself. I have an idea. How’s your spittake?”
Gundigoot motioned for a fey creature to appear and it did. He asked it to go get a giant slug from the Druid’s Grove and have its soul moved on so they could use its body for a ritual. The sprite flew off and returned within an instant with a dead giant slug.
“How’s your gag reflex?”
“ok, I guess?”
“Just put this in your mouth and get ready to spit it up when I tell you to.”
“But I don’t…”
“You don’t have to understand, just follow my lead.”
Gundigoot peeked in the door, motioned to Cain and then looked back at Sarmenti.
“Put it in”
Once he inserted the dead giant slug in his mouth, Gundigoot grabbed Sarmenti and shoved the door open.
“I got him! Help me Cain! Get Thorgath, we need his rage!”
Gundigoot threw Sarmenti on a table and started beating on his chest, while looking him in the eyes and shouting “I’m going to beat the devil out of him! It’s almost out! Just one minute more!”
Thorgath was running around the counter when Gundigoot warned “Sarmenti was infected by a Slaad Tadpole! He has been out of his mind for a week!”
With one more dramatic punch to his chest, Gundigoot declared, “Here it comes!”
Sarmenti spit up the slug, Gundigoot alley ooped it to Cain, who then attacked it, knocking it to the ground at Thorgath’s feet.
Gundigoot instructed “Kill it, Thorgath – but don’t cook it! I’m going to have this thing destroyed immediately.”
And with that, Thorgath accepted Sarmenti again.
Obsidian Bay looked like an easy place to earn some experience. No wonder Baggi sent me here, Rhokin thought.
He found his way easy inside Obsidian Bay. A guard offered his hand as an offering plate for donations, and Rhokin quickly responded with a warm handshake. As a merchant with goods to sell, the City Guard didn’t want to hassle this capitalist any more than they were required to according to the actual rules.
Once inside the OC, he headed straight toward the Amble Theatre. Before he could get inside, there was a gnome doing a puppet show. This was no normal puppet show. Most people would miss out on the intertextuality of gnome lore and the subtleties present in this play, produced freely for the citizens of Obsidian Bay. Rhokin’s heart broke that more people didn’t notice the classic symbolism present in this random performance of street art.
The performer held a hat out for coin and the people who had found so much meaning in his performance were quick to move on.
Rhokin asked for information about this town from this trustworthy puppet. Being able to see someone eye to eye was a rare privilege for anyone trapped in a world dominated by a much larger race. He was speaking to Moppo, a character from a story his mother had told him growing up. Moppo explained that he didn’t have any need but to entertain, but Kendrick – the gnome hiding behind a scarf an arms length away had lots of mortal needs. Moppo would be glad to help, but what could he get in exchange for his services?
Rhokin had spells trapped in bottles. He offered a hold person potion, guaranteed to lock someone in place long enough to defuse any dangerous situation.
“You should seek out the gobin in this wanted poster, I can tell you where he is. There are two sets of wanted posters all around town. Do not bother with the goblin girl, she is also worth 500GP, but you won’t be able to find her. The goblin firestarter is trouble. He can burn himself at will. Incapacitate him quickly! He is in the ruins near the docks area. Everyone avoids it for fear of awakening undead there. The wizards have not been able to find a solution. Best to get in and get out as quickly as possible. If he gives you trouble, come find us. Moppo can help you. Kendrick here has a play to perform. Don’t bother about the goblin girl, that burnie goblin is worth 500GP!”
With that exchange, Rhokin was off to find some food. The Welcome Wench in the adventurer’s quarter seemed to be the right place to find food and possibly a friend who might be interested in helping him track down this dangerous goblin. He would have to give up some of the bounty, but some bounty is better than no bounty.
He narrowly avoided a man chucking a pot of piss out his window, met the owner of the Welcome Wench outside smoking some elven herbs and was introduced to Forte. Forte was easy to make friends with and was super interested in going on an adventure. A bard could offer him a good mix of support. Off they went to the ruins.
Stealthily searching the ruins, Rhokin found a hole that was perfect for goblins to hide in. He tried to intimidate Forte into taking the lead. Forte noped out and hid around a corner. He was inspired to write a poem. So he did.
Rhokin looked around using his darkvision. He saw an ancient passageway, littered with fresh kindling, ready to burn. He chucked in a bomb. The explosion went off, and fire spread around a corner and down the hall. The fire burned and grew in size. Wind erupted from the portal that he stood in, and some new fire fiercely raged toward him. This was the place. He waited until the fire went down. Undeterred, he stepped into the smoldering ruins. As he turned the corner, a magical bonfire erupted behind him, blocking his exit. In the distance he could see a makeshift throne, and behind it, something was burning bright. This was his flaming goblin prey! He walked toward him, promising that he could help him. Once he entered the throne room, he heard “Attack!”. From the shadows, another goblin attacked with a scimitar and nimbly escaped. He missed. Rhokin took a potion that made him grow larger, and he approached the immolated Goblin who was worth 500GP. His attack missed, the Goblin behind him didn’t. The firey goblin fired a firebolt, missing.
In the end, there was a lot of missing. But the gnome lay dead on the ground. He found out the hard way how dangerous a goblin hole can be.
Smoke rose from the hidden entrance of Plirt’s kingdom. He had to find another place to hide, since this was sure to attract the wrong kind of attention.
A new warlock appeared in the Welcome Wench tonight. Strangely, Gundigoot wasn’t prepared to meet him in front, casually smoking a spliff. He usually has an uncanny sense about new adventurers in his part of town. He recognized something familiar about this dragonborn. He has seen this warlock before.
Forte was quick to jump on the opportunity to greet a stranger. In this place, he felt familiar enough to greet even a red dragonborn as if they grew up together. Shinzo cosied up to the stranger, also knowing that the crew they ran with was strong enough to rebuff any unfriendly behavior. The casual attitude here is purchased with the potential of overwhelming force. Strangers are treated with ease, because these are the halcyon days of Obsidian Bay.
Sarmenti tricked Forte into saying that he didn’t like Thorgath’s cooking. Thorgath popped rage and hopped over the bar, dashing toward the sound of someone complaining about his food. With a half orc goliath breathing heavily in his face, Forte managed to get him to lose his rage by blathering for a couple of rounds. Everyone reassured Thorgath that his food was beloved in this place.
Sarmenti changed the mood by introducing a challenge. “Go to the house of the red sash, and I will reveal a mysterious mystery!” Everyone in the bar was interested. They didn’t need much of an excuse to go to the house of the red sash. It was next door, and is a popular brothel. Sarmenti led the group to the madame, and explained that they were here for the mysterious mystery tour. The madame offered Sarmenti his choice of the ladies, and he quickly disappeared in the back room for his own mysterious mystery.
The next few minutes left the adventurers alone with some lovely ladies. Most checked their charisma and tried out some lines on the ladies who all warmly accepted their advances.
Before they could take their conversations to the next level, a hag entered the room. She had brought the answer to their mysterious curiosities. “Come with me boys”, she said. “We’ll discover what is going on here.” She led them into the back rooms, uncovered the bedcovers and pulled up the sheets. She pondered over every stain and dropping on the sheets, sniffing them deeply and sharing her fascination with the boys. They also imbibed deeply the musky, human smell of sex in the linens. They all imagined what could have made such markings and left such a record of its crossing. What came here and left? “Something salty!” Thorgath said. Thorgath was inspired immediately to make a big steak dinner for Sarmenti with a mystery sauce as a memory of this adventure.
Even though the mystery was not solved, everyone learned something important this night. The best mysteries reveal deeper mysteries….
Malark performed a funeral ceremony, ensuring that Ireena’s father’s soul would rest in peace.
The party fought a Vampire Spawn of Strahd Von Zarovich. In life, he was the son of the village cleric. It was a tough battle, they learned a great deal about fighting vampires. Ireena wants to be buffy the vampire slayer.
Barovia is a horrible place.
“Nobody talks anymore, they just…”
Florian had noticed that the bandits left a trail through the forest that he could follow. He brought this up to a few fellow adventurers in the Welcome Wench. Cain thought that the trail might lead to the goblins that had two 500GP bounties. Qhuless was quick to point out that the bounty required that they be captured alive. Cain hadn’t noticed the fine print, but he didn’t think it was a big deal. A team was organized and the party returned to the place where the trail began.
A Jackal ran across the trail, followed by some wolves. The wolves caught it and killed it on the other side of the trail.
Florian took to the woods. As he was hiding, he encountered two Dire Wolves.
Matauranga sent Rumple to scout ahead. Peering through the bat’s senses, Matauranga had blindsight via echolocation. He could sense the small group of goblins and hobgoblins arguing about where best to locate their ambush.
The party decided to break up and have Ashen distract the bandits while Cain approached from the rear.
Florian found himself flanked by a brown bear and two black bears, whom the brown bear regarded as her cubs.
The goblins wasted no time dropping arrows on Ashen before listening to anything she said. She was dodging, but one managed to hit, breaking her concentration on her shield of faith. She’s still confused about what that all means, she simply didn’t feel as lucky as she did.
Two Hobgoblin Iron Shadows dropped out of the shadows and flanked Cain, attacking him with 4 unarmed strikes at advantage each. Cain was almost incapacitated by their attacks.
Zelia provided her healing spirit and Unicorn totem, after a few rounds, Cain was healed up to half his health.
After a few rounds of fierce fighting, the enemy was reduced to a single goblin and a hobgoblin captain.
Qhuless took the goblin for a quick flight, asked him if he wanted to fly on his own and the goblin started telling him everything he wanted to know.
“We’re here, on the run from Lazarus’s forces”
Qhuless reminded the party that the enemy of our enemy is our friend.
The party decided that they wanted to talk to the leader of the group that had broken ranks with Lazarus’s army.
A hobgoblin had returned to the army dressed as a woman. She demanded that the others refer to her in the feminine. She had been captured in the goblin hole, hogtied and dumped in the basement of the welcome wench. There she was interrogated and released outside the city. In order to protect the hobgoblin from being attacked by the citizens, Sarmenti dressed her up in a woman’s outfit and wore his harlequin mask to distract any onlookers. Once outside the city, Stephanie made her way home. Experiencing life as a woman changed her, and she shared that experience with the goblins and hobgoblins that she returned to. She had to fight for acceptance, but once they found out that the mission in the goblin hole was a death sentence, they broke ranks and followed this woman hobgoblin.
Lazarus is buying the dead goblins and hobgoblins from the Orc Hunter’s guild and is fashioning them into his own army of undead. He has a black and white film processing lab that is replacing their organic materials with silver halide particles, creating constructs from the bodies that are no longer sensitive to light. No one knew where the adventuring goblins and hobgoblins were going to, so no one questioned his ultimate goal. Sending goblins off to fight using his teleporting powers seemed like a normal thing for an evil necromancer to do.
Stephanie changed everything for this group of goblinoids.
Now the OC gang knows a little bit more about Lazarus’s intentions.