Super Deadly! New Goblin Hole adventures

We’ve upgraded the Goblin Hole in order to take on new adventuring parties of up to 6 players. The Goblin Hole has always been a tough adventure for a well balanced party of 4.

There has been a new problem introduced. There are goblins on the run, hiding out in the Goblin Hole, somehow convincing the crew of Goblinoids to follow their leadership. Every since Ivetta saved Beetlebum’s life, and Beetlebum told Plirt about the Goblin Hole, there has been a new wave of problems for the adventurers.

Mahaziya had a special baby.

Mahaziya stole her way to the fissure in the middle of Obsidian Bay. Lostivius had told her that there was access to the underdark beneath the lake that appeared in the middle of town. This oddly shaped pool of water always has a guard present, and is clearly marked “no swimming”. Using her innate ability to detect magic, Mahaziya scanned the water feature, searching for a clue to the underdark that was rumored to be nearby.

As she was busy trying to unwrap the riddle, a city guard approached her, offering aid to a pregnant elf.

“It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it? – Is there anything I can help you with?”

“I’m just taking in some fresh air, thank you.”

“You can’t be too careful nowadays, We have two reports of goblins in town. 500 Gold Pieces each!”

“You don’t say.”

Mahazia paused and considered the opportunity that had presented itself. She desperately needed to get rid of this helpful guard.

“Do you mean the goblin they found just around the corner?”

“What?!”

“Of course, three blocks over, I heard some people talking about seeing a goblin, and they were trying to trap it.”

“Ma’am, I didn’t know about that, but I should head over and investigate right now!”

And with that, Mahaziya was free to continue her search for the rumored access to the underdark.

In a dark corner of the water feature, she could see how the fissure had opened up and had extended beyond the limits of the illusion of the pool of water. When she was close enough, she could detect magic emanating from a crack just large enough for a pregnant elf to pass back through to the underdark. As casually as she could, she lowered her fully stretched out form behind a bush and started to climb down a cliff wall that passed beyond the illusion of a lake.

The darkness reminded her of home. This terrifying place could have danger at any moment. She centered herself on her will and found the strength to take the risk that she had to take. As dangerous as this was, it was safer than revealing her truth to anyone else. She was not a moon elf, she was Drow; her child was the product of her union with the devil Mammon. Either of these truths could mean death to her and her child.

After an hour, she found her way to a cave that seemed to offer safety. She explored the space and decided that she could go on no further. Her water had already broken, the child was ready to be released.

At this moment, two figures appeared from the shadows. Terror would have overcome her if she were not already given to the process that was happening within her.

“Who are you?” The first shadowy figure asked.

“I am Mahaziya, I am giving birth right now.”

“She’s ready.”

“Who are you?”

“We are Shadar Kai.”

The Shadar Kai stepped out of her sight, on either sides of the cave that she was in.

Mahaziya laid down on a rock, wrapped the chain around her legs; the chains restrained her, which gave her comfort. She placed the book inside her mouth, which stifled her moans and allowed her to breathe. She took the blade and cut her skin, dropping blood into her mouth.

Whatever it was inside her started moving, working its way through her, erupting her body in pain. Instead of screaming, she chanted the name “Mammon, Mammon, Mammon”. The pain became a sacrifice and a gift that gave her strength to endure more and more pain. The pain gave way to a euphoria when the child was revealed. Stretching out its wings, it launched itself at the mother and she instinctively offered a piece of her body, a nipple that had appeared beneath her armpit. The imp drew directly from her life essence and she gave herself to it willingly.

“Your name is Uttu; you are my revenge.”

The making of a Warlock

Somewhere between the meta of the real and the unreal, a vision appeared of a purple stone. The Obsidian Bay gang have been hanging out in the VR laboratory of the Wizard’s guild lately. Ian is researching ways to restore Mordenkainen’s mind and has organized adventures based on items that hold memories of his amazing life. An old pair of socks have been used as objects for legend lore to work its deductive magic on. From this spell, Ian has organized a fantastic adventure for the gang to play out as if they were the legendary team of wizards, cleric and fighter. There are secrets to be found in this mystery. As the OC crew lift their heads out of the Helms of Virtual Reality and prepare to eat, they all see Ian joyful and triumphant.

“I’ve got it.”
He raises his fist triumphantly.

“You’ve happened upon the first warlock.”
He takes the helm from Cain and sets it down on the arm that holds it, allowing him to raise up from his resting position.

“That’s why this is important, this is much more than wizard training. You are all discovering something precious about the world that Mordenkainen created by his discoveries.”

He stands up and looks around the room.

“Don’t let what I am telling you interfere with your reactions in a meta way. Just try to survive the encounter. Mordenkainen already did. Your persistence has allowed me to arrive at an amazing revelation. You are witnessing the first of the Warlocks in the Faerun. In the time that this was created, there were no Warlocks. I can tell you that where you are going is leading you toward an amazing discovery of how the Warlock operates.”

Ian pauses.

“This might not mean anything to you, but when I was watching over your training, I realized that what is happening here is significant in more ways than you might care to understand. If you do, pay close attention to what you are seeing play out in front of you. The enemy that you are engaging does not know what it is that they are doing, but what they are doing has incredible implications for how we relate to the fiends that operate just outside our plane of existence.”

Ian motions to leave.

“I just wanted to see your faces when you stepped out. Live your experience as if it were the very first time. Someday, we might restore the mind of the mad mage. Thank you for your excellent work. I know how real it feels in there.”

Mordenkainen’s fantastic adventure

Mordenkainen led his team into a beautiful dungeon. With one arcane move, doors opened that would not open for anyone else.

Somehow the friends all survived a few rooms in this adventure that was specifically meant for Mordenkainen.

Hopefully they remain as lucky.

Sunday Funday got some guidance

Madame Eva was very mysterious. We heard about a wizard, who was charismatic, raised an army, but fell 1000 feet in battle with the devil Strahd. Every story that the gypsies told seemed to speak directly to our party. In the end, we found that we could not decide between friend and fiend. The lands of Barovia have been under the control of Strahd for too long.

Aus Rules took Firefinger

The goblin hole training paid off. The heroes used every dirty trick that they learned fighting goblins in the goblin hole at the top level of Firefinger. In the end, they won. But it wasn’t easy.

New Monsters have appeared in the Faerun

We have been fighting Goblins and Hobgoblins for five months in Obsidian Bay. We tracked some bandits down who were raiding Poorman’s Guild shipments. We discovered that the goblins and hobgoblins were refugees from a powerful necromancer. They realized that the necromancer had been transforming dead goblin and hobgoblins into some new construct army. Cain and Qhulesss made a pact with the leader of this revolutionary unit, and promised to bring them to a place where Lazarus the Necromancer could not find them.

When we returned to check on our companions, we discovered that the Orc Hunter’s Guild was blocking the road. Just like the military contractors they were, they gave in to our request to pass when we appealed to their sense of pride and love of cold hard gold pieces.

When we got to the stronghold, there were terrifying monsters from another dimension attacking the goblinoid army. They were easily killing the Goblins, Hobgoblins and Wargs. We found ways to overcome the defenses of the newly minted constructs, but they were not easy to destroy.

In the end, the OC crew were victorious, but it took all of our spell slots and healing to keep the small unit alive.

Oh mystery meat sauce, what is your mystery?

Sarmenti couldn’t stand it. He knew that the half orc goliath barbarian gourmand chef was messing with his food. Ever since the mystery mysteries adventure, Sarmenti was waiting for the gang to get him back for his amazing practical joke, but it hadn’t happened yet. Every day, he opened his door slowly and peeked outside.

Every person who threw their pot to piss in out their window seemed to be pointing it at him.

He couldn’t stop worrying about where the next ironic attack might come from. He was crumbling under the pressure to be more ironic.

Thorgath brought him his new steak meal, again. The Grande Steak Extravaganza With Meatballs and Mystery Meat Sauce showed up on the menu the day after Sarmenti brought the boys over to the House of the Red Sash and tricked them into cleaning the sheets. Somehow this mystery meat sauce was a grand joke meant to fool him into eating what must be something absolutely terrible. He knew how practical jokes worked, since he was so good at them. He was convinced that the mystery was something to be feared.

Sarmenti took his fears to Cain, looking for a confidant. As soon as Cain heard what he said, he jumped up and dashed to the kitchen, demanding that Thorgath tell him what was in this “mystery meat sauce”. Thorgath had no idea what Cain was going on about, he was completely innocent of any of Sarmenti’s advanced, diabolical thinking. As Cain turned around, he murmured under his breath “Sarmenti”. Hearing this name, Thorgath realized that Sarmenti was complaining about his food, he popped rage, searched for Sarmenti and ended up in the basement, attacking the tree trunks that supported the structure, causing the entire building to shake violently.

Sarmenti was already outside by the time Thorgath was looking for him.

Gundigoot was lighting his spliff when he saw Sarmenti lurking outside.

“What’s going on, Sarmenti?”

“I think I complained about Thorgath’s cooking because I got caught up in my own practical joke.”

“I saw what you did, and I’ve been waiting for this to come to a head.”

“Help me, Gundigoot, I can’t go back in there like this… I could use minor illusion and”

“Magic is never going to work on someone as simple as Thorgath. He is going to have to see whatever it is that we do for himself. I have an idea. How’s your spittake?”

“Spittake?”

Gundigoot motioned for a fey creature to appear and it did. He asked it to go get a giant slug from the Druid’s Grove and have its soul moved on so they could use its body for a ritual. The sprite flew off and returned within an instant with a dead giant slug.

“How’s your gag reflex?”

“ok, I guess?”

“Just put this in your mouth and get ready to spit it up when I tell you to.”

“But I don’t…”

“You don’t have to understand, just follow my lead.”

Gundigoot peeked in the door, motioned to Cain and then looked back at Sarmenti.

“Put it in”

“Ughhh”

Once he inserted the dead giant slug in his mouth, Gundigoot grabbed Sarmenti and shoved the door open.

“I got him! Help me Cain! Get Thorgath, we need his rage!”

Gundigoot threw Sarmenti on a table and started beating on his chest, while looking him in the eyes and shouting “I’m going to beat the devil out of him! It’s almost out! Just one minute more!”

Thorgath was running around the counter when Gundigoot warned “Sarmenti was infected by a Slaad Tadpole! He has been out of his mind for a week!”

With one more dramatic punch to his chest, Gundigoot declared, “Here it comes!”

Sarmenti spit up the slug, Gundigoot alley ooped it to Cain, who then attacked it, knocking it to the ground at Thorgath’s feet.

Gundigoot instructed “Kill it, Thorgath – but don’t cook it! I’m going to have this thing destroyed immediately.”

And with that, Thorgath accepted Sarmenti again.